Dear Me

Oh, 15 year old me.

It doesn't matter how cool or uncool it is to be with your family. They are your family. Put your phone down and enjoy them

Also, don't be ashamed when your parents call you every half hour when you're at the mall without an adult for the first time. They love you.

Listen to your parents. They're usually right. Obey them, too. They have your best interest in mind.

I know there is so much that hurts. I know you feel so lonely. I know it seems like you've been shunned and isolated from everyone you thought was your friend, but I swear they weren't your friends. I know it hurts to give those people up, but give them up.

Take notice of the ones who stuck around, though. They are your friends.

That person who "took your place" doesn't matter. Stop hating her. She's actually a very nice person.

It will have 0 bearing on your life in 5 years whether you have a best friend or not. You will make friends everywhere, though some will only be there for a short season and others will be there to answer the phone when you call even if you haven't talked in three months and others you will only see a couple times a year but they will be the best days of the year.

You don't have to be like other people for them to like you, but it is okay to like the same things as other people too.

Like what you like, though. Don't let other people determine that for you.

You don't have to be extroverted to be likable.  You don't have to be loud to be likable. You don't have to be any specific way to be likable. You do not have the responsibility to impress anyone.

It's okay that you don't look like her or talk like her or have the same things as she has. You're still amazing.

Don't stop caring about things. 

Don't stop liking things.  

Don't let them make you afraid.

Don't let the "leaders" in your life tell you something that contradicts what God is telling you, or what your parents are telling you. Just because someone is in a position of authority doesn't necessarily make them an authority over your life if you know in your heart they aren't doing anything beneficial for you.

It is not your fault. 

You will get over this.

You will meet a boy who truly and honestly cares about you, even in the little things. He will like every aspect of your personality and will not expect you to conform to his expectations. He will not expect you to have the same music taste or to fit into a certain stereotype or anything like that. He will encourage you more than he teases you. . He will remind you that your world did not end and he will make you feel like you can do anything. Being with him will be a bigger adventure than you can dream. Don't keep worrying about that boy, though. Just be patient. He'll come when you're not looking.

Your perspective will change. Your views on pretty much everything will change and that's okay. Embrace it. Wrestle with your thoughts and take your time with coming to solid conclusions. It's okay to wonder, to be confused, to misunderstand, to make mistakes. It's okay to question and work to figure things out. Never be afraid to change your mind. 

Your world will not end. Your world will not end. Your world will not end, I swear.